WANNA GET PAID? SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES
For some reason in our culture, and others, it's been decided that artists somehow only work for fun and that creative work is worthless unless it's high-brow or for corporate gain. Isn't it strange how artists are told their work is worthless and yet they're called deadbeats for not making money?
If you're fed up with being expected to do things for free, I'm here to say: It begins with you.
Through my experiences with my own work, and with my friends and clients in various creative settings, I've learned that setting your own personal boundaries can help tremendously when you're trying to get paid.
How do you do that? Start with these four simple ways to help you get paid for your creative work.
For some reason in our culture, and others, it's been decided that artists somehow only work for fun and that creative work is worthless unless it's high-brow or for corporate gain. Isn't it strange how artists are told their work is worthless and yet they're called deadbeats for not making money?
If you're fed up with being expected to do things for free, I'm here to say: It begins with you.
Through my experiences with my own work, and with my friends and clients in various creative settings, I've learned that setting your own personal boundaries can help tremendously when you're trying to get paid.
How do you do that? Start with these four simple ways to help you get paid for your creative work.
Set your prices
This might seem like an obvious point, but many artists who complain about not getting paid for their work don't seem to know how to value their work. So ask yourself - What does my work cost? How much is my time worth? Think about the cost of materials and the time spent creating. Go out and look at what other people charge for similar work. Don't undervalue your work out of fear of judgment or self-doubt. 9 times out of 10, creatives think they're worth a lot less than people are willing to pay. Set a price that's just a little bit too high for your comfort and stick to it. As more and more people start to pay that price, you'll get more comfortable with it.
Create contracts
There's no better way to ensure you won't get paid than by doing a job without a written agreement. If your work is gig-based, you need clear guidelines regarding what your job is, what you'll be paid, when you'll be paid, and who owns the creative work once it's complete. I know, it feels weird to lay out a contract, especially at the beginning because you're usually working with people you know. But if you're gonna get serious about getting paid for your art, you need to do all the serious things that go along with that.
There are several resources online that provide templates for service-based contracts. Check out this one from rocket-lawyer or this one that's specifically tailored to artists. I'm not a lawyer, so I can't guarantee the legality of these contracts for you. I suggest contacting a lawyer yourself. Here in Baltimore, you can contact Maryland Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts for inexpensive legal help. They even hold $5 art law clinics about 10 times a year to help artists learn how to protect themselves legally.
Be clear and direct
Let people know what you do and what it costs up front. If you're wishy-washy or unsure, it'll show and people will take advantage of that. When you want to be paid, ask to be paid. If you choose to volunteer your time or skills, be clear about how much you are willing to give and then only give that much. Resentment often builds when you've given away too much. In the end, you only do what you say "yes" to. So be clear about what you're willing and not willing to do. (Hint: outline that in your contract!) Don't let someone else (or yourself) push you into saying, "yes" when you really want to say, "no."
Get ok with saying, "No."
This can be SO hard for highly empathic creatives. I get it - you want to share the love. And you've heard over and over again that you have to "pay your dues" in your industry. But here's the thing - when you continually work for free, people continue to expect you to work for free. If you've been doing your creative work for a couples years and you're ready to start getting paid, you need to start saying, "No." It doesn't require a big explanation, even if the person throws a fit over it. "No" is a perfectly ok thing to say when you really want to say it. Yeah, it'll be scary at first, but when you put your foot down and show your worth, people will respect and know your worth.
Bottom line: You don't owe people free work.
You deserve to get paid for your contribution to the world And the more creatives that stand up and say, "Pay me", the closer we'll get to changing the culture around paying for creative work.
What do you think?
I'd love to hear about your experiences with getting paid and not getting paid for your creative work. When you haven't been paid, but thought you should have what could you have done to change it? Are there certain situations where it would be right for someone not to be paid for their work? How do you want to help change how creative work is valued?
SOLO ARTISTS AREN'T SO SOLO
We Americans idealize independence. Even the most socialistic, progressive people I know can get down on themselves when they can’t hack it and get things done all alone. It's a weird thing we've all convinced ourselves of. We know deep down in our guts that we need people. Loneliness has a purpose: it tells us that it's time to reach out to people. But instead of reaching out when we're feeling down or lonely, we think, "No, I've got to do it on my own." Nonsense! I KNOW this stuff. I studied couple and family therapy – all about the importance of connection and how people interact and help each other and I STILL hate on myself for not being able to get stuff done when I try to exist in a vacuum. Reprogramming your brain is hard.
I work with people all the time who think they have to do it all on their own. I think a lot of our struggle comes from this belief. I'm always asking my clients who they can reach out to. Whatever it is we're working on, other people can help. At some point in our work, they often say, “Hey, Lauren. I just realized that when I involve someone else I’m able to really stick to my guns and get stuff done!” I congratulate them and often laugh and say, “Who knew?! Oh wait, that’s what we’re doing right now!”
We Americans idealize independence. Even the most socialistic, progressive people I know can get down on themselves when they can’t hack it and get things done all alone. It's a weird thing we've all convinced ourselves of. We know deep down in our guts that we need people. Loneliness has a purpose: it tells us that it's time to reach out to people. But instead of reaching out when we're feeling down or lonely, we think, "No, I've got to do it on my own." Nonsense! I KNOW this stuff. I studied couple and family therapy – all about the importance of connection and how people interact and help each other and I STILL hate on myself for not being able to get stuff done when I try to exist in a vacuum. Reprogramming your brain is hard.
I work with people all the time who think they have to do it all on their own. I think a lot of our struggle comes from this belief. I'm always asking my clients who they can reach out to. Whatever it is we're working on, other people can help. At some point in our work, they often say, “Hey, Lauren. I just realized that when I involve someone else I’m able to really stick to my guns and get stuff done!” I congratulate them and often laugh and say, “Who knew?! Oh wait, that’s what we’re doing right now!”
But that’s the difference between knowing a thing and actually doing a thing. It only gets into your bones when you actually do it. You can say you know you need other people until you’re blue in the face, but when you’re struggling with your creative output do you beat yourself up for not being able to do it alone? Or do you tell someone about your plans and ask for advice?
Here’s how connection helps me creatively:
I haven’t made much solo music in the past year. It’s been a rough year. But being in my bands and having people ask me to compose, arrange, or perform for their events has kept me going. I am SO thankful for them because making music keeps me sane. Plus, being asked to do new and different things inspires me to think differently about my work. I try out new instruments. I write in ways I’ve never written before. It helps me EXPAND. Because believe it or not, I can be really stubborn and boxy about what I like and what I want to create. (I can hear my best friends sarcastically saying “OH REALLY?”) So, when someone asks me to try something new, I try to check in with myself. There are clear YESes and NOs… and then there are the fearful, scoffing NOs. The ones that say, “Oh, I’ve never done that before. Why are they asking ME? That’s SO not a thing I do!” I try to follow the fear and attempt the thing I scoffed at. It might not work out, but I get to do something different and new and stay fresh with my ideas.
It usually does work out, though. Maybe not in the way I expected, but it pays off somehow. With new ideas or recognition. Always with new friends or deeper connections.
So, if you find yourself stuck and saying to yourself ,“WTF, why can’t I ever get anything done on my own?!” Remind yourself that no one does it on their own. Not even writers! (Although you all probably have the least collaborative art.) Even the most hermity creators experienced life with others at some point. They read other people’s books, listened to other people’s music, saw other people’s works and were inspired to make their thing.
Remind yourself of this and then go tell someone about it - preferably another creator. Share your struggle. At the very least you’ll probably get a little commiseration around it. At the most, you’ll get an offer of help or maybe even a new idea.
So what's your struggle? Share in the comments! Maybe someone will read it and help you out.
IT'S 2016. THE FUTURE IS NOW!
Actually, it's not the future. It's the present. And with the change of the year we often look back into the past. I find it's helpful to look at things from a strengths-based perspective. See if these questions help you figure out where you'd like to go:
What worked for you this year?
Think about what went right for you. No matter how small, it's helpful to look back and see your progress.
What do you want to keep doing?
Even if something went well, you don't necessarily have to keep doing it. Dig deep and look at what you really want to continue.
What would you like to change moving forward?
Try to think of this part in "positive" language. For example, instead of saying you'd like to "be less lazy", say you'd like to "paint 3 days a week". Make the change actionable and specific. (Pssst, my DIY coaching course can help with this one!)
How would you like to feel?
Sometimes it's helpful to look at feelings first, then set goals based upon them because really, goals are about feeling a certain way, not just achieving a thing. Danielle Laporte has an awesome process called The Desire Map for figuring out your "Core Desired Feelings" for the year. I've used the Desire Map book, and her planner (coming soon) so much that I've now happily signed up as an affiliate for her products!
Whether you set new year's resolutions/goals/intentions or not, it's almost always helpful to be aware of where you've come from and where you'd like to go.
<3
FOUR WAYS TO KEEP FEELING LIKE SHIT
I haven't written a blog in awhile. I could say it's because I've been super busy with clients and just "hibernating" with all of my ideas, which is partially true, but really it's because I've been stuck. Now, I've had a good reason to be: my Dad has Alzheimer's and Type 1 Diabetes. He's been hospitalized multiple times since July with complications from both. He's now at the point where he's in assisted living and will never go home again. He just turned 68 last week. I've spent the last few months reeling from this, visiting him, talking to my stepmother and brothers, and processing, processing, processing. I've been through a different sort of grief before, but it doesn't necessarily make this any easier. However, from that prior experience, and from what I see with clients, I've learned a few things about how we keep ourselves emotionally stuck and how to start moving forward again:
I haven't written a blog in awhile. I could say it's because I've been super busy with clients and just "hibernating" with all of my ideas, which is partially true, but really it's because I've been stuck. Now, I've had a good reason to be: my Dad has Alzheimer's and Type 1 Diabetes. He's been hospitalized multiple times since July with complications from both. He's now at the point where he's in assisted living and will never go home again. He just turned 68 last week. I've spent the last few months reeling from this, visiting him, talking to my stepmother and brothers, and processing, processing, processing. I've been through a different sort of grief before, but it doesn't necessarily make this any easier. However, from that prior experience, and from what I see with clients, I've learned a few things about how we keep ourselves emotionally stuck and how to start moving forward again:
We try to pretend we don't feel the way we feel
Sadness, hopelessness, frustration, nervousness - these are all really shitty feelings. It's no wonder we try to push them away - they hurt! But pretending we don't feel the way we feel often just leads to more feeling crappy. Or if we admit how we do feel, we think we should feel differently. I'll let you in on a little secret: when you're really stuck with a feeling, logic will not make you feel any differently. Instead of pushing a feeling away or telling yourself you should feel differently, try validating your feeling. For instance, I feel really sad about what's going on with my Dad. It's a terrible thing and a lot of times I just want the awful feelings to go away. But when I try to pretend, I just get irritable and uncomfortable. Admitting you feel bad won't immediately make you feel better, but it removes the burden of pretending and allows you to just be as you are.
We let our feelings define us
So, now you've admitted you're sad/anxious/angry, but then you think "I've always felt this way and I will feel this way forever. I am a sad/anxious/angry person." Woof. Now that's a difficult thing to overcome! And often it leads to trying to pretend you don't feel the way you feel. If your feeling defines who you are as a person and you don't like that feeling, then of course you're going to try to force it away. But what if your feeling was just temporary? They usually are. Remember the last time you smiled. Remember when you had a good day, hour, or even just a few minutes. I'll bet you'll find that this bad feeling is just a feeling, not the defining factor of your personality. Now, if you've felt consistently bad for more than two weeks, maybe it's time to see your doctor or find a therapist to talk through what you're experiencing.
We think we always have to put our best foot forward in order to connect
Part of the whole "pretending we don't feel the way we feel" thing is that we want to look ok to other people. We think that being happy and shiny all the time is what people want to see. But really, no one wants to be around a person who pretends to perfect all the time. It gets boring and stale, and you know what? People can see through the BS. Connection comes through genuine vulnerability (thank you, Brené Brown). It takes courage to share the real you. If you think a person is appropriate to share with, maybe "How are you?" can have a different answer than "Fine.", when you're really not fine. Now, oversharing is a thing, too. There's certainly a balance between never saying how you really feel and telling a person you just met your whole life story. A big piece of this puzzle is sharing without expecting the other person to take care of your feelings for you.
We overthink in an attempt to control
Now that I've given you all these things to think about when it comes to your feelings, I'm sure it's pretty annoying to hear, "Don't overthink it!" I know, I know, I'm the worst! But it's true - when we overthink every single interaction because we think we can control how we feel or how others feel about us, we can get big time stuck. The truth is, you can't control emotions. All of these points are about letting go, feeling the way you feel, and gathering the courage to share those feelings with others, without expecting a specific response. Maybe you'll find that some people aren't safe to share with, because they try to fix, or they don't respect your privacy, or they simply won't listen. That's ok. Try again with someone else. You have the choice to share with who you want to. You can trust yourself to think, feel, and take care of yourself.
STOP.
Stop it.
Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
Stop judging.
Stop telling yourself you're not good enough.
No more flogging yourself internally.
Take your heart, take your gut, take your mind
Take them in your arms
And embrace them.
Embrace them like you would a lover
Or a trusted friend.
Tell them you love them.
Tell them you trust them.
Tell them they deserve everything they want.
Tell them until they start to glow
Then take that light and shine it
So the world can see.
Stop it.
Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
Stop judging.
Stop telling yourself you're not good enough.
No more flogging yourself internally.
Take your heart, take your gut, take your mind
Take them in your arms
And embrace them.
Embrace them like you would a lover
Or a trusted friend.
Tell them you love them.
Tell them you trust them.
Tell them they deserve everything they want.
Tell them until they start to glow
Then take that light and shine it
So the world can see.